


after the storm

by starlightandseaglass



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5x09 AU, Episode: s05e09 Lies of Omission, F/M, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Minor Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles tells Lydia about Donovan, the stydia is implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:12:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4614237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightandseaglass/pseuds/starlightandseaglass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Because one of the bodies… One of them… One of them could be…” <br/>“Could be what?” <br/>“One of them could be Donovan.” <br/>Or; Stiles tells Lydia what happened to Donovan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	after the storm

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from After the Storm by Mumford&Sons.  
> Not beta'd, I wanted to get it out before next week's episode. All mistakes are mine.

It's been five days.   
Five days since he realized Parrish was the one taking the bodies. Five days of combing the woods with Lydia looking for the Nemeton. Five days of walking on eggshells around the rest of the pack, exchanging uneasy looks with Theo, who he still doesn't trust, of drowning in guilt, wondering what's going to happen when Lydia sees Donovan's body at the Nemeton and inevitably realizes that it was Stiles who killed him.   
It's been five days since they started looking and Lydia's ready to give up, but he's not, because he's not sure how much longer he can keep this secret, and he thinks maybe, maybe, knowing what happened to the body will help. They can't stop looking.   
“Can we go talk to Parrish?” Lydia asks as they find themselves in the same place for the third time that afternoon. “We're obviously not getting anywhere.”   
“We can't,”   
“Why not?” Lydia asks, exhaustion and annoyance radiating off her in waves.   
Stiles pauses, trying to figure out how to explain without telling her what he did, about the murderer he's become. “Because one of the bodies… One of them… One of them could be…”   
“Could be what?”   
“One of them could be Donovan.”   
His eyes widen in horror as he realizes what he said, because he can't tell Lydia about this. She can't know, he can't lose her. He vaguely hears her ask what he’s talking about but he doesn't respond because she can't know, he can't tell her, he can't lose her, and oh god he can't breathe, he's having a panic attack-   
And then Lydia's there, crouching in front of him (when did he end up on the ground? He can't remember) and she's telling him to hold his breath, so he forces his mouth shut and buries his head in her shoulder until the world stops spinning and he can actually breathe again.   
“Stiles,” Lydia says softly when he finally meets her gaze and he breaks.   
“I killed him, Lydia,” He tells her, sobs wracking his body. “ I killed Donovan.”   
Lydia's eyes widen in surprise, but she doesn't look angry, doesn't recoil in disgust or fear like he expected her to. “What happened?”   
“He – he was going to kill my dad, Lydia. I didn't have a choice.”   
“But he was trying to kill you too, wasn't he?” She asks, and Stiles nods, tears streaming down his face, and the story pours out of him; how Donavan attacked him, and he didn't know what to do he was just trying to get away from him, not kill him, he never wanted to kill him, and he's a murderer now and Scott's going to hate him isn't he?   
“Stiles,” Lydia says, quiet at first and then more insistent. “Stiles, look at me. You're not a murderer. It was self-defense okay? Scott's gonna understand that.”   
“I liked it Lydia,” He says, and god, she doesn't think she's ever heard someone sound more like they hate themselves. “I saw that he was dead and it felt good, I felt happy,”   
“You felt relieved!” Lydia interrupts, getting angry for the first time since Donovan was mentioned because god, why doesn't Stiles get it? “He was trying to kill you Stiles, he was trying to kill your dad. Of course you were relieved to know he wouldn't be able to hurt you anymore. That doesn't make you a monster, Stiles, it makes you human.”   
“Scott wouldn't have done it,” Stiles mutters, and she knows she's found the root of the problem. “He's gonna hate me when he finds out Lyds, he's gonna hate me, I'm gonna lose my best friend.”   
“You're not going to lose him, Stiles,” she says, trying to calm him down before he has another panic attack. “Scott will understand. You didn't have a choice Stiles,”   
He nods, hiccuping quietly, and looks up with her with a mixture of tears, uncertainty, and wonder in his eyes, like she holds the answers to all his problems. “You really think so?”   
Lydia smiles, standing and pulling him into a tight hug. “Go talk to him,”   
“Are you sure?” He hesitates for a moment, because they still need to find the Nemeton, but Lydia grabs his hand, dragging him towards the car. “I'll drop you off at the school so you can talk to Scott and then I'll find Parrish and we'll figure this out,”   
Her smile is so bright, so hopeful, he can't help but smile back, and he lets her pull him along, feeling lighter than he has in days.

**Author's Note:**

> And then Stiles talks to Scott before Theo does and Sciles doesn't break up and everyone is happy.


End file.
